Wendy, Why couldn't you let go?
- Lauren
Dear Lauren,
I couldn't let go because he was my one and only son. How could I let go? Could you let go if you lost your son?
He was the only joy in my life and now he's gone. A mother is not supposed to outlive her child. His death made me realize just how much I needed him in my life. Without him in my life, I always feel like something is missing. I needed to know what caused him to commit suicide. That's why I went online almost everyday to talk to Tony. I felt a need to talk to him so that I would get answers to why, just why, he would want to end his life.
Every night I go to bed, I cry myself to sleep. I think to myself, how did that even happen? How could he have died? What did I do? Was it my fault? I miss him terribly, my heart aches just thinking about him. I couldn't let go, how could I? I cry whenever I go through his things. I cry whenever I see the photos we took together. I cry whenever somebody mentions him. I'm still not over it.
I hope that in the years to come, I will try my best to overcome it.
Your's Sincerely,
Wendy.
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